A Christmas Idiot
by Kee1
Summary: Im back and with a new fic. Basically my Christmas with the Dragoons and the demented things that happens to them and me. Please R&R!!!!!!!!and Happy Holidays!!!!!


Disclaimer: I don't own these people im just using them in my fic so there you have it  
  
  
  
1 A Christmas Idiot  
  
  
  
The scene takes place at the mall. The dragoons and Kee (note: that's me) are buying each other gifts on Christmas Eve.  
  
Kee: Why are we here? Isn't that fat, old fart the one that gives us gifts?  
  
Dart: The old, fat fart is Santa Clause and we are buying each other gifts because you attacked him last year so he's not coming back remember?  
  
Flashback  
  
Santa is putting presents under their tree. Suddenly Kee walks in  
  
Kee: Robbers!  
  
Santa: No im Santa  
  
Kee: LIAR!!!!!!!!!  
  
Kee beats up Santa up badly then all the dragoons walk in  
  
Dragoons: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Kee: What?  
  
Meru: That's The Easter Bunny idiot!!!!!!!  
  
Miranda: No dumbass it's Santa  
  
Meru: WHAT DID YOU CALL ME BITCH!!!!!!?????  
  
Miranda and Meru fight and of course Meru kicks her ass good  
  
Santa: Im am never coming back for that  
  
Haschel&Kongol: Odd day  
  
Kongol: I fart you all die now  
  
Kee: Kongol 1.Shut up 2. Learn to speak proper English  
  
Santa leaves . . . everyone cry's  
  
Back to normal  
  
Kee: No I don't remember  
  
Albert: Well everyone else does now let's shop and Kee please don't buy us all cookies so you can eat it  
  
Kee: D'OH  
  
Everyone is at a store buying gifts. Shana and Meru are passing buy a mall Santa  
  
Santa: Ho Ho Ho  
  
Meru turns around  
  
Meru: AM NOT BASTARD!!!!!!!!  
  
Shana: Maybe he won't call you that if you wear something more than that bikini  
  
Santa: You're that girl that lives with the demon child that beat me up last year huh?  
  
They both walk away like nothing ever happened  
  
After the shopping they all go back home. Kee isn't home because he's visiting his good friend Dee (Note: Yes the author and if you haven't read her fics then what are you waiting for?) the dragoons are wrapping gifts and talking  
  
Meru: Christmas is the best  
  
Miranda: Yeah  
  
Meru: Shut up I wasn't talking to you I was talking to everyone else  
  
Lloyd: Who has the tape?  
  
Kongol: Tape?  
  
Rose: You're not suppose to be in this fic Lloyd  
  
Lloyd: I know I just came to get my gifts. But I want to know why im not here too? He never puts me in his fics and if he does it's for one scene then im gone  
  
Rose: Because Kee hates you for killing Lavitz so he said the next time he sees you he will kill you, chop you up into burger meat, sell you, and then pee on your grave  
  
Lavitz: Im alive, im not dead  
  
Lloyd: Ohhhhhhh, that's why I killed him  
  
Lavitz: IM NOT DEAD DAMMIT!!!!!!  
  
Rose kills him by bashing his head with a present  
  
Haschel: Now he is  
  
Lloyd gets his gifts and leaves  
  
Later that night when Kee comes back drunk off stupidity, everyone is asleep so he does too, later Kee hears a noise down stairs  
  
Kee: Santa it's you!!!  
  
Santa: Yes it is  
  
Kee I thought you weren't coming back  
  
Santa: I forgive you because I can see almost perfectly out of my eye now  
  
Kee: YAY!!!! GREAT!!!!!!!  
  
Everyone comes to the room  
  
Dart: Kee NOOOOOOOO!!!!!  
  
Kee: Im not doing anything  
  
Dart: Sorry it's a habit  
  
Meru: Santa you're back  
  
Santa leaves  
  
Meru: he could've said bye  
  
Everyone is opening gifts and they all get what they want  
  
Kee: A PLAYSTATION2 THANKS SANTA YAY HURRAY AND COOKIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Kee starts to dance and sing "Happy happy joy joy" by Ren & Stimpy. Everyone ignores him  
  
Dart: a new 110-inch T.V  
  
Shana: A Goldfish, I'll name you Goldie II  
  
(Note: Now you know there is probably going to be a Dragoon Cemetery 2 now)  
  
Kee: Great another damn fish. Now you know there are going to be dead animals and Barbara Strizand again in this house and if they eat my food I will send you all to Chuck E. Cheese's to be surrounded by those creepy Umpa-Lumpas that give me nightmares again (If you don't understand read my other fics and you will)  
  
Rose: A decapitated head THANK YOU!!!  
  
Albert: A new king's scepter  
  
Meru: CLOTHES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!! Non-skimpy bikinis boo  
  
Kongol: book "Speaking good English for dummies" YEAH!!!!! Kongol like lots  
  
Haschel: A Gift certificate for a nursing home thank you all  
  
Dragoons and Kee: Happy Holidays from the Dragoons and Kee to you  
  
  
  
The End  
  
How did you like it? Please review OR ELSE I'll tell my mommy Mwahahahahaha ::coughs:: ok I'll stop now ( 


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